If there were two words to accurately convey the thoughts running through my mind now, it would be these: cold feet.
For those of you that don’t know, I will be departing for Quito, Ecuador tomorrow, where I will be studying Spanish, intercultural communication, and other various subjects for the duration of the fall semester. This program entails the exploration of the highest capital city in the world (Quito sits at almost 10,000 ft elevation), the Amazon jungle, the Galápagos Islands, among other extraordinary locations. I will be living with 19 other students from other universities across the country, staying in both apartments and home-stays.
Sounds fun, right?
Well, sure. None can deny that this is an awesome opportunity that I’ve taken advantage of, and I’m grateful that I’ve been fortunate for this program to fit within my schedule.
Am I excited? I suppose. Am I looking forward to getting to know 19 other strangers in a foreign culture? Well, yeah, of course. Yet, even so, I can’t help but sit here and attempt to contain the voice in my head screaming that choosing to study in Ecuador was the wrong decision. What was my reason for choosing the Ecuador program? What purpose do I even have in being there? Am I wasting my time with these “adventures” – as cliché as that word has become – when I should be focusing more on my relationships in the states or on my journalistic career?
In response to this apprehension, I have no repose to offer for myself. There is no peace. There is no calm.
Either way, my departure is tomorrow. Whether I like it or not, there’s no going back, no flaking out.
I hate that this first blog post of the semester is doused in pessimism, but it is reality – not every journey starts on a positive note.
On a happier note, the best ways to contact me while I’m abroad are via iMessage, Viber, and Facebook messaging. Keep in touch, homies.